Between Parent and Child has ratings and reviews. K said: Between Parent and Haim GinottKhaya: Dr. Ginott, I have so many feelings about your. Strengthen your relationship with your children with this revised edition of the book by renowned psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott that has helped millions. Haim Ginott’s parenting book revolutionized our ideas of how to talk with children.

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Library Locations and Hours. Strengthen your relationship with your children with this revised edition of the book by renowned psychologist Dr. Haim Ginott that has helped millions of parents around the world.

In this revised edition, Dr.

Alice Ginott, clinical psychologist and wife of the late Haim Ginott, and family relationship specialist Dr. Wallace Goddard usher this bestselling classic into the new century while retaining the book’s positive message and Haim Ginott’s warm, accessible voice.

Based on the theory that parenting is a skill that can be learned, this indispensable handbook will show ahd how to: Ginott’s innovative approach to parenting has influenced an entire generation of experts in the field, and now his methods can work for you, too. His work, which focused on communication, changed the way adults relate to children.

She was a recipient of the Eleanor Roosevelt Humanities Award. He lives in Little Rock, Arkansas. When Between Parent and Child was first published inclinical psychologist Ginott d. Alice Ginott, Haim’s wife and a retired psychology professor, and Goddard, chair of the National Council on Family Relations, aim to update this best seller for the 21st century. The basic ideas haven’t been tampered with-as the text stresses, when talking to their children, “parents should be protective of feelings, not critical of behavior.

Empathic communication is nothing gniott, and some of Haim’s diction is outdated, but the author’s simple formula repeated in many and various examples helps parents understand what it really means to respect children while being authoritative. Recommended for larger public libraries. Thank paremt for using the catalog. Between parent and child: Offers advice to a current generation of parents on how to develop empathetic yet disciplined child rearing skills that place an emphasis on good communication and avoid negative reinforcements.

The code of communication: Summary Strengthen your relationship with your children with this revised edition of the book by renowned psychologist Dr. Excerpts The Code of Communication: Parent-Child Conversations Children’s Questions: The Hidden Meanings Conversing with children is a unique art with rules and meanings of its own.


Children are rarely naive in their communications. Their messages are often in a code that requires deciphering. Andy, age ten, asked his vhild, “What is the number of abandoned children in Harlem? He gave a long lecture on the subject and then looked up the figure.

But Andy was not satisfied and kept on asking questions on the same subject: In the United States? Andy’s questions stemmed not so much from sympathy for abandoned children as from fear of being abandoned. He was looking not for a figure representing the number of deserted children, but for reassurance that he would not be deserted. Thus his father, reflecting Andy’s concern, answered, “You’re worried hiam your parents may someday abandon you the way some parents do.

Let me reassure you that we will not desert you. And should it ever bother you again, please tell me so that I can help you stop worrying. She looked at her daughter disapprovingly, and hastened to tell her, “It’s not nice to call the pictures ugly when they are so pretty.

You can paint mean pictures if you feel like it.

You don’t know anyone here. She wanted to find out what happened to children who break toys. Understanding the question, the teacher gave an appropriate answer: Sometimes they get broken.

Haim Ginott

Her interviewing skill had netted her the necessary information: This grown-up is pretty nice, she does not get angry quickly, even when a picture comes out ugly or a toy is broken, I don’t have to be afraid, it is safe to stay here.

Nancy waved good-bye to her mother and went over to the teacher to start her first day in kindergarten. Ginott, age twelve, was tense and tearful. Her favorite cousin was going home after staying with her during the summer. Unfortunately, her mother’s response to Carol’s sadness was neither empathic nor understanding.

CAROL with tears in her eyes: Susie is going away. I’ll be all alone again. You’ll find another friend. I’ll be so lonely. You’ll get over it. You’re twelve years old and still such a crybaby. Carol gave her mother a deadly look and escaped to her room, ad the door behind her. This episode should have had a happier ending.

A child’s feelings must be taken seriously, even though parwnt situation itself is not very serious. In her mother’s eyes a summer separation may be too minor a crisis for tears, but her response need not have lacked sympathy.

Carol’s mother might have said to herself, “Carol is distressed.

I can help her best by showing that I understand what pains her. How can I do that?


By reflecting her feelings to her. When children feel understood, their loneliness and hurt diminish. When children are understood, their love for the parent is deepened. A parent’s sympathy serves as emotional first aid for bruised feelings. When we genuinely acknowledge a child’s plight hetween voice her disappointment, she often gathers the strength to face reality. Seven-year-old Alice had made plans to spend the afternoon with her friend Lea. Suddenly, she remembered that her Brownie troop met that afternoon.

She started to cry. You were looking forward to playing with Lea this afternoon. Why can’t the Brownies meet another day? Alice called her friend Lea and made another appointment.

She then proceeded to change her clothes and get ready for her Scout meeting. Alice’s mother’s understanding and sympathizing with her daughter’s disappointment helped Alice deal with life’s inevitable conflicts and disappointments. She identified Alice’s feelings and mirrored her wishes.

She did not make light of the situation. She did not say: You’ll play with Lea another day. What’s the big deal? When David’s father, who has the night shift and takes care of the home while psrent wife works during the day, returned home from shopping, he found his eight-year-old in an angry mood.

Between parent and child : the bestselling classic that revolutionized parent-child communication

I see an angry boy. In fact, I see a very angry boy. In fact, I’m very angry. You’re never home when I come home from school. I’m glad you told me. You want me to be home when you come home from school. David hugged his father and went out betweej play. David’s father knew how to change his son’s mood. He did not become defensive by explaining why he wasn’t home: What would you eat if I did not buy food?

Most parents are unaware that it is futile to try to convince children that their complaints are unjustified, their perceptions erroneous. It only leads to arguments and angry feelings. One day, twelve-year-old Helen came home from pzrent very upset. I know you’ll be disappointed. I only got a B on my test. I know how important it is for you that I get an A. But I really don’t care. How can you even say such a thing? I’m not at all disappointed in your grade.